This image was created while I was in a very dark place both mentally and spiritually. I was grieving both of my parents who had passed within 9 month of each other. All while trying to figure out who I am, trying to be a wife, and trying to be a mother of a small child all at the same time. The world felt so heavy. Saying that it was painful is an understatement. I felt as though I was toxic. The thoughts in my head were scary. So scary! I couldn’t see or even feel my own light. In the image I’m holding out a candle that represents my own light as if that candle represented the dim light that was inside of me. I was holding it so tight while taking the image. I remember feeling love for the candle as I held it. The crow is representative of how I was beginning to feel death knocking at my own door. If you look closely you’ll see that the light in the background, behind the subject, sort of looks like angel wings. The “decay” on the wall in the background helped to tie it togeather. Now I know why. Looking back at this time I call it “when I went dark”. I’ve been in this place about 3 other times, but doing it while you have a child to care for too makes it oh-so extra. My hope in putting this image out there is that it resonates with someone else who is in this dark place. If it is you, I want you to know that the darkness is temporary. This too shall pass, and that time heals all wounds. You just have to give it time.
Creating this image wasn’t hard per se’, but at the time this was created, everything was hard. Just getting out of bed was hard. The pull to create was string something, but it couldn’t be too involved. After sketching/journaling a few ideas. I grabbed my tripod, dslr camera, remote, a black background, and some other props and went to work! I chose to hide my face with a wig, drop hot wax onto my hands (I was so numb that it didn’t even hurt), and hold out the lit candle. Snapping the image with a remote. The crow is a licensed stock image. Because, simplicity. I just didn’t have the energy to go out and find one. I carefully shaped the light in post as I always do. In my work, the light is a character in and of itself. So much time is spent on the light. Then I used lots of different textures of the world around me to create the look in the background. The color palette was important to this piece. It felt as though I was in Hell (whatever that is) so I wanted my color palette to reflect the colors of fire. I created the feeling of decay in the background with some images of textures that I’ve found in nature. Does this resonate with you? Cheers and enjoy!
Each of my works are available in limited edition prints only. That means that once they run all out there will be no more creations of that particular piece. Each print is available in 4 sizes- 10x10, 20x20, 30x30, 40x40. Each size has only 10 prints available for each particular piece. **as the print run of a particular piece starts to run out, prices may increase. **
Each print is printed on archival, cotton, Hahnemuhle paper. Signed, and numbered by me. Each piece comes with a certificate of authenticity. Framing is available. I’m happy to do it! Contact me to discuss options and prices.