Cheerless Void

Something is missing, but what? The unknown tugs softly, yet gives no hint at what could have been. And So the cheerless, void remains. 

The inspiration for this piece came on the first Mother’s Day after losing my mother. I didn’t have a good relationship with my mother so my feelings on losing her are just as complicated as my feelings toward her while she was alive. The best way to describe my grief in words is this- it’s like I have this void inside of me where a mother, maybe, should have been. Now that she is gone it feels like there is this hole in me where something is missing, but I’m still not sure what that something is. Those words don’t do the feeling justice. Hence the fact that I’m a visual artist and not a literary one. The flowers that cover my face are her favorite flower, lilac. Violet lilacs also symbolize spirituality aka hope. The lonely light next to the subject represents the cheerless, uncertain, void that I feel. The “room” that the image takes place in has a cold, dark, and lonely vibe to it. The roughness of the floor below the subjects feet represent struggle. While the meek little dress represents the hopelessness of the child that lives inside of me. That little girl inside did a lot of hiding as a child. 

This is a self portrait piece created by using many images then piecing it all together with computer software. Each image is shot with its place in the final image in mind. Having the correct height, depth of field, and distance from the camera are important. They assure the “believe-ability” of the pieces that I create. The “room” that the subject is in is actually an amazon box shot with some creative lighting. The substrate at my feet is mulch from my front yard. The bare light bulb is from an Edison bulb chandelier at a neighbors house. I took the photo of myself with the flowers at my face, in the meek little dress, against a black background using my dslr camera, a tripod, and a remote. I then loaded each image onto my computer for a composite piece with some textures that I find in my environment. Once that part was finished. I spent at least 3 days crafting the lighting in the image. The lighting in this image was so important to how the image would feel. How does this image make you feel? Cheers and enjoy! 

Interested in purchasing?

Each of my works are available in limited edition prints only. That means that once they run all out there will be no more creations of that particular piece. Each print is available in 4 sizes- 10x10, 20x20, 30x30, 40x40. Each size has only 10 prints available for each particular piece. **as the print run of a particular piece starts to run out, prices may increase. **

Each print is printed on archival, cotton, Hahnemuhle paper. Signed, and numbered by me. Each piece comes with a certificate of authenticity. Framing is available. I’m happy to do it! Contact me to discuss options and prices. 

Natalie AllgyerComment